Spêak - Candace Tossas

Spêak

The silence has lasted for months. When I asked the Lord about it, all I heard was ‘rest’. I am a talker and a doer; rest does not sit well with me. Rest makes me uneasy and in most cases, silence makes my soul cringe.

"I will not let silence define the quality of relationship with my God, because I know that even in the silence he is with me and he is good."

Rest by definition can mean an interval of silence of a specified duration. That definition is not comforting, especially when God doesn’t give you a specified duration. In this silence, I’ve had to fight off doubt, frustration, impatience and legalism; What is wrong with me that I am not hearing from him? How long will this last? What must I do to make God speak to me? As I sat around anxiously waiting for some direction from the Lord, I was reminded that we are called into relationship with him. I realised that while I have given God lordship over my life, I hadn’t been pursuing relationship at the level we’ve been called to. The fact that God wants relationship with us is a humbling thought – Our Father, the Creator of all, does not need us to say a word, but he invites us into continuous conversation with him because he loves us.

Spêak

With that in mind, I have chosen to view this silence as an opportunity to build consistent rhythm in my conversation with God; no longer limiting subjects or confining it to a time limit or space. I have shifted the balance from speaking to God to hear something, to conversing with God, worshiping him, and resting in his presence because he is my Father and closest friend.

"I have chosen to view this silence as an opportunity to build consistent rhythm in my conversation with God."

Psalm 91:1 says “those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty,” so I will pursue relationship every day and continue to delight in him even when he ceases to speak. I will not let silence define the quality of relationship with my God, because I know that even in the silence he is with me and he is good.

Candace Tossas, a C3 College 1st Year Leadership and Ministry student, excited for God to Spêak.